Kent Burns Presents: The History of Booty Music

Kent Burns Presents Booty Music: The Story of Songs About Butts
Part IEarly Ass-Music for Days
By Kent Burns
AssMusic
For ass lovers, there is no better time to be alive than right now. Ample butts are everywhere—popular cinema, television, musical theater, Vine compilations, pornographic websites, and even mainstream music. Really, in today’s world, one needs nothing more than ears and a FM radio to access a nonstop, veritable faceful of bouncing ass. One might even say that no facet of modern life is more stuffed with booty than the realm of audio entertainment. Songs about butts are more plentiful than ever, even across lines of genre and style.

Yes, when it comes to music, times are good for ass enthusiasts. Some critics even argue that the entire tradition of booty music recently reached its historical apex in 2011 with the release of Big Sean’s epic butt-worship romp, “Dance A$$”—a song that was praised by the Village Voice, and also ranked as high as number-ten on the US Billboard Hot 100 list for 2011-2012. However, some are quick to note that the years following the release of “Dance A$$” have proven to be nearly as fruitful in terms of odes to asses. “Red Nose”. “Clappers”. “Bubble Butt”. The list goes on.

A scene from Eric Wareheim's video the song "Bubble Butt" by Major Lazer

A scene from the “Bubble Butt” music video

Today’s body of musical content about the derrière is plenty wide and well-rounded, but where did it all begin? Who were the ass-acclaiming artists of yesteryear? How long have people been writing songs about butts? You may be surprised to learn that the roots of this phenomenon run deep. Very deep. Deeper than Sir Mix-a-Lot. Deeper than ZZ Top. Deeper than even Queen.

Join me on a journey through time to explore one of humanity’s greatest cultural traditions—booty music.


“Black Bottom” by Ma Rainey (1927)

MaRainey

In 1927, early blues vocalist Gertrude Pridgett stepped into a Chicago sound studio to record a new song she had penned. The idea for the piece was simple: describe the allure of a new dance called the “Black Bottom”—a title that would serve as an obvious gateway to lewd innuendo throughout the song’s lyrics.

Some time later in 1927, Pridgett, who was better known by her stage name, Ma Rainey (“The Mother of the Blues”), finally released the track to the public, giving birth to one of history’s earliest—and finest—recorded examples of music explicitly about the ass. Well, her ass to be exact.

Over the course of nearly six minutes, Ma Rainey takes “Black Bottom” listeners on a ride over her backside. She begins:

Now, you heard the rest
Ah, boys, I’m gonna show you the best
Ma Rainey’s gonna show you her black bottom

Nineteen twenty-seven, folks. Rainey continues:

Now I’m gonna show y’all my black bottom
They stay to see that dance
Wait until you see me do my big black bottom
I’ll put you in a trance

While there is no historical record of the immediate reactions to this song at Ma Rainey’s live performances, one can only imagine that her act prompted lines for the men’s bathroom—complete with jizz overflowing from 1927 trough-style urinals in speakeasies across the country. Let there be no doubt about it, Ma Rainey’s “Black Bottom” was the “Milkshake” of the early 20th century, as she crooned to the masses about the allure of her assets.


“It Must Be Jelly (‘Cause Jam Don’t Shake Like That)” by Chummy MacGregor, George Williams, and Sunny Skylar (1942)

The year was 1942 or 1941. Jazz composers Chummy MacGregor and George Williams teamed up with lyricist Sunny Skylar to write and record a hit song for the hip world (no, I did not make those names up). Light sexual innuendo had already become somewhat commonplace within the swing-music genre, but these three men decided they were going to push the envelope. The result was the song “It Must Be Jelly (‘Cause Jam Don’t Shake Like That)”—a not-so-discreet tune about booty wobble.

The 1940s were a great decade for asses

The 1940s were great years for asses

Performed and recorded by the Glenn Miller Band as an RCA 78 single, “It Must Be Jelly” went on to enjoy tremendous success, making it all the way to the number twelve spot on the Billboard chart for January of 1944. For MacGregor, Williams, and Skylar, the gamble paid off. In February of that same year, the song ascended to the number-two seat on Billboard’s Harlem Hit Parade chart (apparently, 1944’s version of the R&B list). The people had spoken and they made clear what they wanted—ass, lots of it, jiggling like jelly all over the dance floor.

It must be jelly
’cause jam don’t shake like that
It must be jelly
’cause jam don’t shake like that
Oh, mama, you’re so big and fat

“Vikki Dougan” by The Limeliters (1961)

The ass that launched this song

The ass that launched this song

The year 1961 saw ass—as a lyrical theme—spill right over into the world of American folk music. With their song “Vikki Dougan”, the New York City-based Limeliters took listeners on a tour down the buttcrack of model and actress Vikki Dougan:

Vikki baby, you rock me
Without you I’m bereft
I’m hypnotized by those crazy eyes,
and that callipygian cleft

In this live version of the song, from the album The Slightly Fabulous Limeliters, the band’s frontman sounds lascivious and sweaty as he spends over 2 minutes and 30 seconds introducing the song (i.e. waxing poetic on Dougan’s butt). If you listen closely, you can actually hear his dick stiffening in this part of the recording. Once the song finally starts, the lyrics are priceless:

Vikki turn your back on me 
Come on, darling, just for me
‘Cause there is something so appealing
that your eyes are not revealing
Oh, Miss Dougan, you’re for me

[…]

Vikki, baby, we’re older
My get up and go is gone
But when I see you walking down the street,
them buns still turn me on


Tune in next time for Booty Music Part II: Planet Ass (1970-1999)

We ♥ Lelu Love!—An Interview with the Internet’s Most Interactive Sex Star

We ♥ Lelu Love!
An Interview with the internet’s most interactive sex star
By Kit Ames and Andre Novak

And apparently she loves us

Apparently she loves us too!

In the ever-expanding universe of internet porn, it is becoming increasingly difficult for sex stars to distinguish themselves. The online adult-film industry is overflowing with beautiful faces, sexy bodies, and crazy-hot fucking—but today’s porn fans are demanding more. Sure, Peter North is still revered for shooting unusually large loads. Pinky continues to captivate viewers with her gigantic ass. Each star seems to have his or her hook. However, one performer in particular has really grabbed my attention with an entirely novel take on porn. Her name is Lelu Love, and she is the internet’s most interactive sex star.

I first stumbled upon some of Love’s clips about a year ago on Pornhub. I immediately sensed that she was bringing something different to the table. The videos I watched were fun and playful, with a high-quality-homemade feel. On screen, Love was clearly enjoying herself. I quickly realized the videos were based on requests that Love had received from fans. The concepts ranged from typical to obscure and intensely-specific. (For an example of the latter, I saw one clip in which Love performed a blowjob through a hole in a medical mask.) What an awesome idea, I remember thinking (about request-based porn videos, not necessarily the medical mask). However, what really astounded me was that Love was actually interacting with people on the comment threads of her own clips, mostly thanking fans for their positive remarks. My mind—much like the dick in that medical mask-fetish video—was blown. Anyone who’s ever seen a Pornhub comment thread should understand my amazement.

To be honest, I’m actually not even that big of a porn fan, but Lelu Love’s work is notably awesome. She seems to be re-humanizing internet sexuality in an age of hyper-connected atomization (I know, I know—it’s all very paradoxical) by giving the world first-rate sex videos and then backing them up with real interaction through her website, Pornhub, Twitter, and even her cell phone. She’s not afraid to cross those lines. She is the people’s sex star.

Lelu Love exchanging comments with fans on Pornhub

A friendly exchange between Lelu Love and a fan on Pornhub

Lelu Love didn’t grow up wanting to be a porn star, but several years ago, on a whim, she made a video of herself masturbating  and posted it on the internet. Since then, she’s never looked back. Love now runs one of the most interactive websites in the world, LeluLove.com, where she shares the videos and pictures requested by her fans, which she makes exclusively with her husband. She’ll do anything that’s doable, for any fan—from creampies to smelly feet-fetish videos to simulated vorarephilia. Fans can request messages for Love to write on her infamous whiteboard, which she often poses with in pictures.

While there are many porn sites out there offering viewers the ability to request scenes from performers, most of them have niche themes, which makes the process restrictive. For example, sites often deal exclusively with BDSM or specific genres of role-play. With Lelu Love, anything legal is on the table. Also, unlike many other porn stars, Love is very willing to let fans into her personal life. Not only does she offer 24/7 access to cameras in her house for VIP members on LeluLove.com but, in the“About Me” section on her site, she also provides a personal account of her past struggles with addiction. Lelu Love will share anything with and do (almost) anything for her fans. With VIP access on her website, one can even obtain her cell phone number. Yeah.

Since Lelu Love answers fan emails, posts daily videos, and does appearances at different industry events, I wasn’t sure if she’d have time to respond to some interview questions. But like I said, Lelu is all about interacting with her fans, and further evidence of that is in the interview below.

How did you decide that fan interaction would be such a big part of your work?

I never really thought about that, it’s just how I am. I love to chat and talk—maybe even TOO much according to some people, lol. It’s just really a lot of fun for me. For anyone who takes their time and money to spend on my site, I want to make sure I give them as much value as I can. And it’s fun getting to know new people and learning more about all the unique fetishes and fantasies out there.

What are your favorite requests?

All of my videos are custom videos that people order from my store, so I don’t have time anymore to just make my own. But every once in a while, someone will order one and tell me to just “have fun” or “do whatever you like best” and those are always my favorite because I don’t have to remember any lines or worry about the camera or anything—and I always cum the hardest in those because that’s all I’m thinking about!

What won’t you do?

It’s tough to list all the things I will or won’t do because there are just SO many different fetishes and requests. I just take it on a case-by-case basis, with each request, and say what parts I can or can’t do. Even if there are some things that I don’t like or are against the rules, we can usually compromise and come up with something that works for everyone.

What’s the strangest or most interesting request you’ve received?

There’s SO many because just when I think I’ve heard it all, I learn about a new fetish that I never would have imagined. And there’s always a big group of people that share that same fetish, no matter how rare I thought it would be. I love that everyone is so unique though and totally respect that different things turn on different people, as long as it’s safe and legal. I’ve done everything from poncho fetishes to hairjobs to giantess to turning [my husband, co-star] into a turkey and eating him and so much more.

Lelu Love, twerking

Lelu Love, twerking for the fans

A lot of people—adult film stars included—might be worried to open up to such direct online interactions with fans and viewers, maybe even dismissing them as perverts or creeps. What do you see in these people and your interactions with them that allows you to make such contact?

I think that’s kind of the thinking for people outside of the industry because, in my experience, the majority of people are super cool regular guys that just enjoy porn. I think all guys do, so I think it would be weirder to interact with a bunch of guys that aren’t into porn at all.

Your website says you do a live webcam show every single day. Is it difficult to keep it fresh?

I release a new full video and picture set every single day, and there are multiple live shows from different girls on my site each day too. Then I do one live member-show per week too. It’s not hard to keep it fresh because, like I said before, all of my videos are custom videos that people order, so they come up with the ideas and there are just SO many fetishes and fantasies out there. That it’s always something just a little bit different.

What is the creative process like for planning and executing each shoot?

Depending on the custom video order, the person will send over what they would like to see, and once we decide on what’s doable and they order it, then I usually have it done within a few days to a week. The solo ones are the quicker ones and hardcore scenes take a bit longer.

Do you ever do live performances at clubs or expos?

Yep, I feature-dance every once in a while when I’m out at clubs, especially with the NightMoves Magazine and AllAdultNetwork crew. Sometimes I will just get up and dance on stage for fun and I love going to the expos and meeting people in-person.

Are you very well connected with other men and women in the adult film industry?

I’ve gotten to know a lot of people at the conventions and it’s amazing how friendly and welcoming everyone is. Everybody seems so happy because they don’t have to keep their sexuality bottled up and can just be themselves. I’ve met so many great people and made some amazing friends.

Your website is very personal. Not only are you naked for your fans, but you detail the struggles you’ve gone through, to get to where you are today. What makes you so willing to present your life story to your fans and viewers?

Yep, I’m a very open person and very proud to have gone through what I did, to make it out, and to where I am now. So I’m happy to share that and I hope that it helps give hope to other people who may be in similar situations. Those are some of my favorite emails when I hear that!

Because we’re a Baltimore-based site, I have to ask: have you ever been to Baltimore?

I’ve never been to Baltimore, I lived in Virginia for a little while but even only that far north was too cold and snowy for me which is why I went south!!

What are your impressions of the city based on what you’ve seen or heard?

I don’t really know much about it, other than I think the Baltimore Ravens right?? I’m trying to learn more about football so I can understand what’s going on but I still laugh too much when I hear “tight end” and “give them the D” 🙂

Be sure to check out Lelu Love on Twitter or her website, LeluLove.com!

Fuck Jamz—A Baltimore Sex-Music Playlist

Baltimore Fuck Jamz, Volume I
A playlist of music to sex to
By Kit Ames

BigBlackCover

This world has no respect for your sex life. How many times have you been doing it when the mood was suddenly killed by your phone ringing or an advertisement popping up on Pandora? Countless times. That’s why music and playlists have become such a crucial part of modern sex rituals—whether to keep others from hearing you go at it, or to shield you from hearing others while you’re going at it.

That’s why we’ve compiled Baltimore Fuck Jamz Vol. I, a playlist of songs to help you cocoon your intercourse from the outside world, using artists exclusively from Baltimore. This first volume focuses on songs that help to get you in the mood (for sex) or that create that critical atmosphere for satisfactory fornication. To make the list, the artists or groups had to be from Baltimore, based in Baltimore, or born in Baltimore. And the music had to be sexy. For this particular volume, we didn’t use any instrumental tracks or electronic tracks without vocals. That mix is forthcoming.

Below, in no particular order, are some excellent Fuck Jamz for you to touch yourself or others to.

1. “Tenderly” – Billie Holiday

We’re kicking off this list with one of the greatest singers to ever come out of anywhere: Billie Holiday. “Tenderly” in particular has a romantic, slow melody, with sensual lyrics to put anyone in the mood for some lovin’.

2. “Soft Skin” – Get ‘Em Mamis

Many of the Get ‘Em Mamis songs could have qualified for this list, but if I had to choose one, it’d be “Soft Skin.” The background’s breathy words, sex noises, and “yeahs” really make this a fuck-worthy tune, and that’s not even to mention the lyrics. The chorus repeats “Soft Skin, red lips, so kissable, hard to resist so touchable.”

3. “Space Jam” – Hollywood

I hadn’t heard of Hollywood before I began my journey to find the best songs to cream to, but I’m so glad that I’ve heard them now. This entire album Love Child is terrific, with it’s quirky lyrics and driving distorted sounds, but “Space Jam” stood out to me in the mix. This song chronicles the desire within all of us to fuck an alien because we’re tired of earthlings. As the song goes, “Gonna find me an alien girl/And get lost in a black hole.” Awwww yeaaahhhh.


4.
“So Far Gone” – Rob Se7en

Almost any song this man sings could be on this list. It doesn’t matter what he’s singing about, his voice oozes raw R&B sexuality. Seriously, this guy’s voice is audio KY, and good for almost any occasion when it comes to making the beast with two backs. I get aroused just listening to his voice. Click play below, and get ready to cream.

Listen to “So Far Gone” by Rob Se7en

5. “Silver Soul” – Beach House

Victoria Legrand (1/2 of this indie duo) referred to this song as “dark” and “sexual,” and I can see why. It’s got a mellow, almost haunting sound that would be great to bang to. The benefit of fucking to indie rock is that indie rock groups like Beach House are masters at creating an ambience, without having beats or riffs that would be distracting to copulators. This song is no exception.

6. “Give It To Me” – DJ Excel

This is three minutes of expertly mixed songs from the early 2000s that will be sure to get that body rocking. He sticks mostly to mixing Jay Z with Mystikal’s “Shake Ya Ass” and the outcome is sexy. You can listen to it at the link below.

Listen to “Give It To Me” by DJ Excel

7. “Woman of the Mango” – Caleb Stine

This whole album I Wasn’t Built for A Life Like This is good if you’re into real soft, country fucking. Almost every song is soft and slow, which is great if you’re looking to romantically plow your country boy or gal. After all, Baltimore is the northernmost Southern city. The song “Woman of the Mango” was chosen in particular for its line “Her skin is smooth, her taste is sweet.” You can find all his albums at the link below.

Listen to “Woman of the Mango” by Caleb Stine

8. “Freak On” and “Slow Grind” – Ultra Nate

I couldn’t agree on just one Ultra Nate song—this woman is a master of dance-pop and a lot of it is really sexy. For a good dance beat and sexy lyrics, “Freak On” is a must. Who could resist with lyrics like “Let’s do what grown people like”? Granted, it seems like Ultra is really just talking about dancing, but where else is our mind supposed to go when she’s singing about leaving it to the pros and asking “let’s get our freak on tonight?”

Now, if you’re more into reggae, then the Ultra Nate song “Slow Grind” is the fuck jam for you.

9. “Dark Place” – Raindeer

This is another great song from one of the great psychedelic pop rock bands coming out of Baltimore. Not only will fucking to it make you feel like you’re fucking in a trailer to an indie film (that is definitely a good thing), but it’s got some great lyrics that can easily be construed as naughty. “Someday I’ll take you to a dark place deep inside.”

 

10. “Drop” by Rye Rye

If you don’t already know who Rye Rye is, then I feel sorry for you, bro. She is like if Nicki Minaj, Ke$ha, and Baltimore club music had an amazing, glittering baby. This song is fast paced with a real sense of sexual urgency. And also it’s all about how good Rye Rye is at dropping it.

Listen to “Drop” by Rye Rye

11. “Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me” – The Orioles

This is another song for strictly-romantic boning. The Orioles were pioneers in the field of doo-wop, which is why they’ve been inducted in the “Early Influences” section of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. While I would argue that any slow doo-wop would be good for romantic love-making, this song’s lyrics set it apart. Just read:

            Thrill me, thrill me

            Walk me down the lane where shadows will be, will be

            Hiding lovers just the same as we’ll be, we’ll be

This guy is basically singing about public, outdoor sex in some shadows. These guys knew what was up.


12. Thong Song – Sisqó

Remember this one? I think it’s really the strings in this song that do it for me.

13. “Dirty Love” – Frank Zappa

This living legend was indeed born in Baltimore and he is the perfect end to this list. This song makes me wish I were stoned, porking in the back of some-guy-I-just-met-at-a-concert’s van. If you want some good old-fashioned, guitar-riffing, bass-heavy, classic rock to snag some dirty love to, this is the song for you.

There you have it: our top thirteen songs to get busy to in Baltimore. Be sure to tell us your experiences—both good and bad—with these selections, and tell us ones we missed. You can comment above, or email me at kit.ames1@gmail.com

Book Review—Graphic Thrills

A Review of Graphic Thrills: American XXX Movie Posters, 1970-1985
Let’s explore vintage smut with Cinema Sewer’s Robin Bougie!

GraphicThrillsCover

Letting Cinema Sewer magazine creator, Robin Bougie, take you on a tour through the world of smut is somewhat like exploring the Atlantic Ocean with Jacques Cousteau as your guide—you’re not going to find anyone better for the job.

Those familiar with Bougie’s work understand that he is the Howard Zinn of sleaze. He is a true people’s historian, documenting obscure and forgotten material from the world’s cultural underbelly and making it available and accessible to the writhing masses—and usually alongside lots of his drawings of boobs, butts, and boners. Nowhere does Bougie channel his inner-cultural historian better than in his new book Graphic Thrills.

Yes, Graphic Thrills has it all. The book is a collection of pornographic movie posters from 1970 to 1985, but it offers so much more than just breath-taking, lurid images and catchy film titles. Bougie opens Graphic Thrills with an absolutely epic essay on the history of smut, beginning at human pre-history, with 7,200 year-old cave paintings. From there, Bougie takes some sizable leaps through time, spending most of the 12-page intro detailing the trajectory of smut throughout the period in question: 1970-1985 (with a geographic focus on the US). I know, I know—it sounds like a lot of text for a collection of pork-film posters, but let me tell you, it is all worth the read. Bougie’s writing will inform you, make you laugh, and perhaps even cause you to grool or give you a boner. He moves fluidly, almost creamily, between the topics of the state’s campaign to suppress smut, the lives of adult filmmakers and performers, and then, of course, stories behind the posters that make up most the book’s 141 pages. And hey, if you’re not really that into reading, fear not: this section is peppered with a wealth of sleazy images to which you can stroke the old johnson or massage your slit—whichever applies.

With that said, let’s get to the meat of this book—the posters. Each of the 124 featured images is paired with text, supplied by Bougie, which contains the author’s descriptions of the films in addition to excerpts of interviews with relevant adult filmmakers and stars. For as fun and interesting as the text is in this section, the posters steal the show. Their artwork ranges from silly to cute to cryptic to straight-up raunchy. Each piece is eye-catching or junk-grabbing on at least some level.

Among the many notables is the poster to Barbie’s Fantasies, which showcases a painting of a curvy blonde woman standing in front of what appears to be a pink hole—you know, like a black hole in outer-space, only pink. The lady is leaning back, licking a finger, and using her other hand to knead her bulging twat through tight white shorts. Yep. Not surprisingly, this iconic image is featured on the back-cover of the book. Good call, FAB Press—it’s one of the main reasons I purchased it.

Wow. Just wow.

Wow. Just wow.

An additional standout is the poster for 1978’s Hot Teenage Assets. Another painting, this poster is a perfect visual encapsulation of the aesthetics of the 1980s (even though the film was released in the late 1970s). Against a hazy, dark-blue backdrop, a woman in a cherry-red bikini flash-dances while showering herself with a long, twirling white hose that looks like something out of a laser-light show and appears to be spraying water and constellations over her. The text on the poster immediately calls the original Tron movie to mind, which is a good thing. Fans of 1980s art will also love the classic, semi-psychedelic poster for Consenting Adults.

Oh, I almost forgot: vore and macro fetishists will most certainly go crazy over the poster for Champagne for Breakfast—the central image is a painting of a tiny, nude, mustachioed man floating in a glass of champagne as the drink is raised to sultry, larger-than-life scarlet lips for a drink. The concerned look on the man’s face says he’s about to go down the hatch.

While this book is a net-masterpiece, there are some lowlights to be discussed. For one, the poster compendium is rather hetero-centric. However, Robin Bougie not only acknowledges this problem in the book’s intro, he completely laments it, stating, “It should be noted that effort was made to include posters representing the more noteworthy gay films of the same era, but it turned out to be

Champagne for Breakfastan exercise in frustration.” Bougie goes on to explain that, due to prevailing norms of the times, posters typically weren’t even made to advertise gay fuck-films between the years of 1970 and 1985. Bummer. What’s more, according to Bougie, of the few gay adult film posters that could be tracked down from that time period, the cost was simply too high to purchase them, due to their rarity.

And on a pretty subjective note of criticism, the last forty-some pages of the book begin to display more and more photo-based posters, which sort of bummed me out. While some of the photographic content is certainly interesting, most of it pales in comparison to the outlandish, dynamically styled artwork that comprises the bulk of Graphic Thrills. But hey, maybe you’ll love the photos?

At the end of the day, Graphic Thrills is truly an unrepentant masterwork of the mondo di sleaze. I write with confidence that it is a must-own for fans of either porno or posters—and especially the very small number of people who fall into the middle section of the classic Porno FanPoster Fan Venn diagram. You may also consider buying this book if you like: smut history, vintage art, boobs, psychedelic colors, butts, feeling sexually aroused, or simply things that are just fucking awesome. Seriously, pick up a copy of Graphic Thrills at Atomic Books in Hampden, now, you dirtbag.