Fuck Jamz—A Baltimore Sex-Music Playlist

Baltimore Fuck Jamz, Volume I
A playlist of music to sex to
By Kit Ames

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This world has no respect for your sex life. How many times have you been doing it when the mood was suddenly killed by your phone ringing or an advertisement popping up on Pandora? Countless times. That’s why music and playlists have become such a crucial part of modern sex rituals—whether to keep others from hearing you go at it, or to shield you from hearing others while you’re going at it.

That’s why we’ve compiled Baltimore Fuck Jamz Vol. I, a playlist of songs to help you cocoon your intercourse from the outside world, using artists exclusively from Baltimore. This first volume focuses on songs that help to get you in the mood (for sex) or that create that critical atmosphere for satisfactory fornication. To make the list, the artists or groups had to be from Baltimore, based in Baltimore, or born in Baltimore. And the music had to be sexy. For this particular volume, we didn’t use any instrumental tracks or electronic tracks without vocals. That mix is forthcoming.

Below, in no particular order, are some excellent Fuck Jamz for you to touch yourself or others to.

1. “Tenderly” – Billie Holiday

We’re kicking off this list with one of the greatest singers to ever come out of anywhere: Billie Holiday. “Tenderly” in particular has a romantic, slow melody, with sensual lyrics to put anyone in the mood for some lovin’.

2. “Soft Skin” – Get ‘Em Mamis

Many of the Get ‘Em Mamis songs could have qualified for this list, but if I had to choose one, it’d be “Soft Skin.” The background’s breathy words, sex noises, and “yeahs” really make this a fuck-worthy tune, and that’s not even to mention the lyrics. The chorus repeats “Soft Skin, red lips, so kissable, hard to resist so touchable.”

3. “Space Jam” – Hollywood

I hadn’t heard of Hollywood before I began my journey to find the best songs to cream to, but I’m so glad that I’ve heard them now. This entire album Love Child is terrific, with it’s quirky lyrics and driving distorted sounds, but “Space Jam” stood out to me in the mix. This song chronicles the desire within all of us to fuck an alien because we’re tired of earthlings. As the song goes, “Gonna find me an alien girl/And get lost in a black hole.” Awwww yeaaahhhh.


4.
“So Far Gone” – Rob Se7en

Almost any song this man sings could be on this list. It doesn’t matter what he’s singing about, his voice oozes raw R&B sexuality. Seriously, this guy’s voice is audio KY, and good for almost any occasion when it comes to making the beast with two backs. I get aroused just listening to his voice. Click play below, and get ready to cream.

Listen to “So Far Gone” by Rob Se7en

5. “Silver Soul” – Beach House

Victoria Legrand (1/2 of this indie duo) referred to this song as “dark” and “sexual,” and I can see why. It’s got a mellow, almost haunting sound that would be great to bang to. The benefit of fucking to indie rock is that indie rock groups like Beach House are masters at creating an ambience, without having beats or riffs that would be distracting to copulators. This song is no exception.

6. “Give It To Me” – DJ Excel

This is three minutes of expertly mixed songs from the early 2000s that will be sure to get that body rocking. He sticks mostly to mixing Jay Z with Mystikal’s “Shake Ya Ass” and the outcome is sexy. You can listen to it at the link below.

Listen to “Give It To Me” by DJ Excel

7. “Woman of the Mango” – Caleb Stine

This whole album I Wasn’t Built for A Life Like This is good if you’re into real soft, country fucking. Almost every song is soft and slow, which is great if you’re looking to romantically plow your country boy or gal. After all, Baltimore is the northernmost Southern city. The song “Woman of the Mango” was chosen in particular for its line “Her skin is smooth, her taste is sweet.” You can find all his albums at the link below.

Listen to “Woman of the Mango” by Caleb Stine

8. “Freak On” and “Slow Grind” – Ultra Nate

I couldn’t agree on just one Ultra Nate song—this woman is a master of dance-pop and a lot of it is really sexy. For a good dance beat and sexy lyrics, “Freak On” is a must. Who could resist with lyrics like “Let’s do what grown people like”? Granted, it seems like Ultra is really just talking about dancing, but where else is our mind supposed to go when she’s singing about leaving it to the pros and asking “let’s get our freak on tonight?”

Now, if you’re more into reggae, then the Ultra Nate song “Slow Grind” is the fuck jam for you.

9. “Dark Place” – Raindeer

This is another great song from one of the great psychedelic pop rock bands coming out of Baltimore. Not only will fucking to it make you feel like you’re fucking in a trailer to an indie film (that is definitely a good thing), but it’s got some great lyrics that can easily be construed as naughty. “Someday I’ll take you to a dark place deep inside.”

 

10. “Drop” by Rye Rye

If you don’t already know who Rye Rye is, then I feel sorry for you, bro. She is like if Nicki Minaj, Ke$ha, and Baltimore club music had an amazing, glittering baby. This song is fast paced with a real sense of sexual urgency. And also it’s all about how good Rye Rye is at dropping it.

Listen to “Drop” by Rye Rye

11. “Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me” – The Orioles

This is another song for strictly-romantic boning. The Orioles were pioneers in the field of doo-wop, which is why they’ve been inducted in the “Early Influences” section of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. While I would argue that any slow doo-wop would be good for romantic love-making, this song’s lyrics set it apart. Just read:

            Thrill me, thrill me

            Walk me down the lane where shadows will be, will be

            Hiding lovers just the same as we’ll be, we’ll be

This guy is basically singing about public, outdoor sex in some shadows. These guys knew what was up.


12. Thong Song – Sisqó

Remember this one? I think it’s really the strings in this song that do it for me.

13. “Dirty Love” – Frank Zappa

This living legend was indeed born in Baltimore and he is the perfect end to this list. This song makes me wish I were stoned, porking in the back of some-guy-I-just-met-at-a-concert’s van. If you want some good old-fashioned, guitar-riffing, bass-heavy, classic rock to snag some dirty love to, this is the song for you.

There you have it: our top thirteen songs to get busy to in Baltimore. Be sure to tell us your experiences—both good and bad—with these selections, and tell us ones we missed. You can comment above, or email me at kit.ames1@gmail.com

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