Upcumming Events—BURLESQUE-A-PADES ‘VALENTINES DAY FOLLIES’ w/ The Pontani Sisters

‘Come celebrate the big day with the World Famous Pontani Sisters, top-shelf burlesque and variety from New York! Featuring an original Baltimore Block performer, Margo Christie!’


When: February 16, 8 p.m.
Venue: The Metro Gallery
Address: 1700 N. Charles St.
Phone: (410) 244-0899
Price: $15

Upcumming Events—Dr. Sketchy’s Anti-Art School

Cherie Sweetbottom at Dr. Sketchy's Baltimore—July, 2013

Cherie Sweetbottom at Dr. Sketchy’s Baltimore—July, 2013

Dr. Sketchy’s Baltimore is a local burlesque/cabaret-themed life drawing session where artists of all levels come to draw fabulous models and compete in drawing contests for prizes, all in an atmosphere of boozy, creative conviviality.’

Location: The Windup Space
Date and Time: Monday, February 10—7PM-10PM
Cover: $10


Book Review—The Little Book of Big Penis

For the Love of Chubs: A Review of The Little Book of Big Penis
By Kit Ames


It’s hard to find a good schlong outside of straight-up porn these days. Hollywood and HBO are quick to pop a pair of tits on-screen but very rarely do we see a real-deal peen—and when we do, it feels like a rarity and a big deal. I remember being very impressed that The Wire showed a dong on-screen some 4-5 times throughout its five-season run (though boobs appeared probably three times as much as that on the show), because I’d never seen one in a TV series before. Similarly, johnsons are much less frequently the subjects of erotic art than female forms. Consider the vast empire of strip clubs featuring exclusively female dancers in Baltimore, on The Block or out on Pulaski highway. I only know of one strip club in this city where you can see a pocket rocket. A good schlong—for viewing purposes—is hard to find.

Dian Hanson is changing all of that with her series of books that showcase erotic photography across decades. After publishing The Big Penis Book, Taschen put out a new, more compact version in 2012 called The Little Book of Big Penis. About 30% of its material is different from The Big Penis Book, and it offers all the benefit of its small, ready-to-travel size. 

Hanson opens the collection with a brief, but fascinating, history of the evolution of erotic photography with male subjects. She explains how the US government’s (namely, the Postal Service’s) vilification of homosexuality made the publication and distribution of erotic photography nearly impossible, meaning that it wasn’t until 1970 when the first full-erection could be found in adult bookstores. While I was a little miffed by the lack of critical analysis in this section of the book (it suggests that gay men would be the only audience for dick pics, and doesn’t mention the acceptance of women in erotic art may also stem from the fact that men are more willing to objectify women), it overall was an interesting, quick read. Also, it was followed by lots of penises.

Chris Donovan in work attire

Chris Donovan in work attire


Dude, these dicks are huge. Some of the pictures made me squirm just imagining them inside of people. But whether they make you squirmy or aroused, each and every one is definitely worth a gander. They range from the delightfully campy to the painfully posed and smoldering, to the undeniably sexy. One of the first photographs, opposite from the cover page, is a 1970’s wang on top of a slice of bread next to a jar of French’s mustard and a fork and knife. If the book were only variations of that picture in different tints, I’d be sold. Other highlights include a charming shoot of Bob Moore as a naked, half-way aroused cowboy framing his “Lil’ Bobby” with a lasso. Additionally, there is a very sexy shot of Chris Donovan, his preppy tie and shirt undone, no pants, and his unit coyly peeking out from under his cocktail. There is also a great collection of military-themed schlong shots. And then there are the jaw-droppingly long wang-doodles of Moby Dick and Long Dong Silver, which are always sure to please a crowd.

My only complaint about this collection would be that some of the wieners look particularly oiled and something about this slickness in a photograph weirds me out. Regardless of your preference for or aversion to slick-dicks, this collection of photos is definitely worth checking out. You can find it at Atomic Books in Hampden, or underneath my bed.